Heavy Rains and Big Hearts

Today, something happened to me that I had hoped to do all my life.

Late for school in the morning, I was so busy running and rushing in a haste that I had forgotten to breathe, and even use an umbrella in the heavy downpour.
With my bag, clothes, and hair all wet, I saw an auto rickshaw (a three wheeled vehicle for public hire) waiting for me, right outside my building. Thank the heavens! I thought.

Before I could even ask the driver to hasten, He said (translated), ‘There is no way I’m going to speed, particularly during rains– there are too many pot holes, and what if I accidentally drive into an open drain? (With a proud chest) Nothing, nothing comes before the safety of my passengers.’

All the worldly worries just slipped away, and were replaced by a broad smile. Awe stricken, I couldn’t respond with anything, but a ‘Hmmm’ (shame on me, I know).

There I was: busy in my own world, not bothered to even look what was happening around me. Then there was the amazing guy whose name I didn’t even ask (pathetic, I know). Here I am, sitting, writing, deleting words, thinking what to write— just to come up to the conclusion that while I write here, while I try to do my bit of inspiring work, while I’m thinking of how to do it, someone has probably already come into the scene, done their part, and left an aeonian mark: on people, in this world— a sign of their existence, a sign of their extreme humanity.

Today, I learnt, truly, that even the slightest and the gentlest of the touches, can impact you deeply, and quite surprisingly, these are the touches the affect you the most.

In Mumbai, a.k.a. the city of hustle-bustle, where no one has a single second to spare to glance the slightest at anyone— we have people who have only one priority and one worry: They won’t care if all of the world’s cheetahs are tackling them, or all the ghosts are haunting them— why should they, when They care to stop and look around, and breathe in the beauty of everything? Why, why should They be bothered about anything else, when They have people’s safety and well being in their minds and hearts, when we’re all living in an era where ‘bhalai ka toh zamana hi nahi raha’ (this isn’t the era or the time of innocence, and most of the innocence has been wiped out; this is where goodness and purity are neither acknowledged, nor respected)?

To the man who has made such a great impact in my life (and many others, of that I’m sure), and taught me, in such a pleasingly warm tone, how to live, notice, and care, with saying just as little as two lines, in a ride for just as short as 6 minutes (or even less); to the man who offers complimentary singing with the ride, and wouldn’t mind taking a long time for just one ride (and not caring about how much he earns and how much he could’ve); to the man, who  addressed me only as ‘Rani Bitiya’ (My Queen Daughter), and brought a huge smile on my face, heart, and mind that’ll be stuck forever— here’s a big shout-out to you! You’re great, extraordinary, and just amazing! You define pride and selflessness; and you have made all the difference in the world. And I wish, in times of rain or not, happiness and love shall always be showered heavily upon you. Thank you 🙂
To anyone who gets a chance to meet Him or people like Him— you’re lucky.

Ending with what He would’ve believed in: Seize the day and dont just breathe in the air; absorb it’s beauty.

Extras:
What a wonderful happening it is: as I publish this post, the Sun makes a striking appearance, and shines bright, marking the end of a dark, cloudy (rainy) day; may we all find clarity in the light of the day (and in the dark), and may we all be the light; every cloud has a silver lining, and every life has a golden core 🙂 and not all rains are sad and gloomy.
The End

You and I

I’ll be there for you
When the rain starts to pour
I’ll be there for you
Like I’ve been there before
I’ll be there for you
‘Cause you’re there for me too

More than a year spent without writing… When I first had the writer’s bug, I never thought a day would come when I’d have the writer’s block. There are a few who have made me realise that though I didn’t actually lose something in this while, I did miss something that made the greater part of me. The fact that they know (and I acknowledge) me to be a person of great adamance compelled me to give writing another shot. So, here I am— back again!

In life, some people have touched me so much, and so deeply (even with just as much as a gentle tap), so I thought why not dedicate something to someone who made it happen? This post is for one such friend for whom all of the world’s words are not enough. I can best describe her with six letters: D. H. W. A. N. I.

Our story goes way back: we’ve known each other since we were three; one day, we fought, and the next, we became best friends. That’s practically it. Albeit time has distanced us, here we are, standing together. We have known each other, and we have been there for each other. I know it sounds crazy, but this kind of a friendship exists. And the unconditional love is very much real.

I’ve always embraced it, and loved what I have, but one event made me realise what it is worth to cherish it. With just as simple as a text, she moved me, surprised me, yet again, and spoke out loud and clear— she was is not beside me, but within me— she is a part of me, just like writing is. Here’s what she sent to me, as soon as the clock struck 12, and it was June 4 (not a fraction of a second later, and I swear I’m not exaggerating) (I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist punctuating):

Hey Tris, it’s your birthday! *A moment of applause for the birth of the legend😂* The spelling corrector, the grammar book (probably a thesaurus), but still a book of knowledge… There is glitter in your eyes; they show the determination in you. You are selfless, and for me, flawless. The one who doesn’t meet me for years, but still by heart, our souls remain connected. We talk once in two months or probably even less than that, but once we start, our conversation— it can’t end; it just goes on. You are tough, though intelligent. Everyone is unique, but you are some different kind of unique. You are the cheerful bae. The girl who is dramatic, yet away from all the drama😂 She is filmy. The bollywood filmy. SHE is an inner joy, which everyone cannot notice, but the one who notices is worth the gain. 💙💙 From all mishaps to challenges you have faced, you stand still. You accept what you receive. The little contended freak. My dhak dhak queen, and obviously, my soul sister. I hope this friendship never drifts apart. And for the surprise thing, I guess this is the only thing I could prepare. So sorry for not standing up to your expectations, but still… rock the world. 🐕💓💞
Memories never fade, it still plays in flashback😄😙

 

😍😭😍😭😍😭 BEAUTIFUL. Isn’t it?

An angel (can’t help with the narcissism) fell to the Earth on June 4. Four days later, she was given an accomplice who truly completed her. I don’t know how to surprise you, and to be brutally honest, I have no clue as to what to gift to you; but there is one thing I’m sure of: THIS. Our eternal friendship, and our unbound love. All I can say is though I have not found Prince Charming, I did find all the six F. R. I. E. N. D. S. in one person.

Hope remains while the company is true; Dhwani, you are the Samwise to my Frodo, my Parabatai, my oldest true friend; you are #friendshipgoals. Together, we’ll grow to become beautiful people, and together, we’ll kick ass. I guess, all there’s left to say is Happy Birthday:)

The Place of Peace

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Everyone knows a place where they go, when they are touched by emotions of all kinds; or sometimes, they just go there because they love it. Everyone has that one place, which they have just to themselves― where they can spit out their secrets, be ingenuous, unveil their true identity― where they can be a truly unabashed soul.

Well, everyone has their ‘one place,’ but She is not everyone; She is different. She doesn’t know of many places, which have an atmosphere of amity. How can She find peace and content in this despondent world? No, She can’t. But, She does have alternatives.

To find peace outside, you need to have peace within. And what does She do? She just runs into her little imagination: travelling from one world to another― exploring, discovering, speculating, and in pursuit of a few answers, which are just not there; doing the impossible: making a perpetual pizza, walking in the sky, going to Hogwarts, defeating the Witch Queen, slaying dragons, going on adventures with the extra-terrestrials, re-creating ‘Wonderland’… dancing on her own cadence, or doing anything that makes her feel alive; that kills the demons within her, and just reflects all the good in her― that makes her a better person.

Although She can’t find peace, She can indubitably make it― and that’s what She does; that’s how She escapes all the melancholia.

Story of The Narcissist

“I love myself when I am laughing. . . and then again when I am looking mean and impressive.” ~ Zora Neale Hurston  

When I wake up in the morning, the first person who strikes my mind is (surprise, surprise!) me, myself! I look into the mirror; see those radiant eyes of mine: deep as a well, hot and intense as burning coal; dying to speak ― the thirst to unveil myself. When I look at myself, I see that million dollar smile, the relaxed shoulders; and all the confidence within me get a power boost ― fervour takes me up; and again, I am filled up with passion, enthusiasm and the zeal; gusto replenishes me―and here’s the bubbly me! I see the spark of life twinkle within me. When I look at myself, I see hope, I see life― I feel alive.

Yep, I have just described myself; this is precisely how I feel, every day of every week. You may think that this idea of self-fascination is obscure and absurd, and you might even develop animosity against me for the same reason… but the truth ― I don’t care.

Why am I called self-centred by those people who are solely plunged into themselves? Why am I called selfish by that world, which is taken by the greed? Why am I called anything by the world?

I don’t think that loving myself is wrong. In fact, it’s perfectly all right. And the truth is, everyone love themselves; it’s just that some flaunt it, and some don’t. Why not divulge your true feelings? Why be eaten by malice? Why not be a stout personality, and a prodigious individual?  If I was in your stead, rather than hating, I would start loving. I would start living and enjoying, rather than burn my time in futile ire.

Can this happen ― just for one moment, rather than being whisked away in acrimony, why not just live the moment? Why not explore this world?

I believe that there is no point of your existence if you don’t know your point. And for that, you need to explore your own self; you need to be taken aback in the fascination of being- of the wonders there are and that can be done ― by you. You need to know how wonderful you are.

 I know that life isn’t life if you just float through it. I know that the whole point- the only point- is to find the things that matter, and hold on to them, and fight for them, and refuse to let them go.* And no matter how big a social animal you are, in the end, you are alone. You are the only thing you have to yourself (guaranteed); you have to cling on to yourself ― to survive, and to live.

A person always looks out at another person for inspiration. Why not change that outlook, and look for inspiration into one’s self? Why not be a paragon? Why not be your own lucky charm? Why not be your own hero? Why not be your own love?

Now, let me just bombard you… is it really me who is wrong by going against the world, or is it you, and do you think it’s high time to break the chain― to be different; to be who you were born to be? Think over it, and whatever may the answer be, I still don’t care if you’d agree with me or not.

This is what it feels like to be a narcissist… and, this is the supreme superlative feeling. EVER.

*The text in blue is taken from Delirium (by Lauren Oliver) 

Going, Going… Gone

Merry Christmas, and sorry for posting after a really long interval, but alas, the year has ended; or is going to end; the same thing, so to say. Time has flown by, so quick and swift, like sand from between your toes; and will continue to. And the truth: another year passes by, clears its mark for the New Year to come by.

Oh, another year, twelve long months! It’s going to pass by, just like the previous one, in the blink of an eye. That’s the typical me, at the start of (almost) every year. Yeah, that’s because, I really don’t know what the New Year is going to bring forth this time. What it has for me… and that, I can tell you, is what I have learnt.

You think the year will be quite ordinary, but you don’t know how many twists it is going to bring in to your life… and that’s because you really haven’t got up to see what the view ahead is. And even if you have, (another thing I learnt is) not everything is what it seems. And that’s what I learnt this year, in fact, I learn it every year, though it just looks like scattered memories; that, during the journey, it doesn’t really matter where you reach. What matters is how you have reached; how you climbed.

And TBH, now that I have found everything in life: from my passion to myself; I see everything so crystal clear. It’s like, your destination may be bad, but, your expedition has to be really killing. That’s what you have to make it count.

But, all of this is not something you realise, until it passes by. And then, you are likely to realise either of the possible two things:

  1. Oh, I wasted that year. I should have done something worthwhile…
  2. Oh, what a wonderful year it has been! I did everything that I wanted to…

For the first time, I felt familiar with the second thought (though I have missed out a few things cause of procrastination).When the entire thing, the year, is about to end, you see yourself standing on the edge, and you realise that the year has gone right through your eyes.

This year has been quite different! This year, I have accomplished my goal of leaving a few marks, which will later turn out to be memories.

This was the best and the worst year to socialize; many fellowships broken, but, my bond with my true friends became even stronger. So many problems I’ve had, so many fights, but, as the saying goes, ‘all’s well if the end’s well.’

At the start, all I wanted was a year, to be better than the previous one. My new year always starts with so much of enthusiasm, so much of energy; the hope to do better; the hope to be better than I was before… so many aims, so many goals for the year, in the life! And amidst everything, I feel so alive, and I just want to cling on to it!

Now, all fulfilled, I have come to understand that it’s not just about wanting good all the time. It’s never that good is going to complete everything. Even if you have only goods, you are never going to be complete. Tragedy is inevitable… because that’s what makes anything complete.

And once again, still wondered by the wonders, I wonder how the year has passed by so quickly; right in front of my eyes, going, going, and gone…